he watched me and i my feet
maybe the world was waiting
but the more i stalled
the more the silence seemed
annoyedwe watched each other
move
he whispered
‘just focus on what you know’
i blinked at him wearily
‘i am’
he lulled
‘just do what you know’
i slowly heaved
weakly croaked
‘i am’i’d lost all feeling in my hands
maybe from the disconnect
maybe from the vents
but the more i stalled
the less i felt myself
(Source: 17yroldghost, via couldnttellyouwhy)
our bodies as nothing
but bodies
as joints and fingers
knees to graze
locking in digits
i selfishly claim
your shouldersyou hold on
to my legs
not to me
my face and my eyes and my laugh
you’re clutching anchors
keeping yourself grounded and steady
away from your depth
afloat on your darkest nights
i curl up and pretend i know better
detach and swallow my tongue‘im only seeing one person
a big mess of body’it’s all we became
hearts dissolved long ago
betray each for the other
(via tiny-pinecones)
don’t be too clingy
don’t be such a ‘girl’
be a woman
but be hairless like a childdon’t wear skimpy outfits
don’t be such a ‘slut’
be modest
but take it off when i ask
don’t assert yourself
don’t be such a ‘bitch’
be nice to me
but don’t be a fucking doormat
don’t be ignorant
don’t be such a ‘bimbo’
be intelligent
but don’t argue your opinion with me
don’t wear make-up ever
don’t be so ‘insecure’
be yourself
but don’t complain if i don’t like it
(Source: tamamuratamao, via tiny-pinecones)
*
once
in elementary school
a pile of papers
decided to pursue a career
as birds.
a gust of wind carried them
over the train tracks
far from the reach of any of the witnesses.
for a few
short
glorious moments,
papers soared in a tornado
in the middle of the schoolyard.
they flapped their wings
and glided away -
and then were caught,
their dream
smashed
into pieces.
sometimes
sometimes I want to be tan
sometimes I want to have long
thick
curly
hair
the kind that everyone is envious of
I want to wear sundresses
and flip flops
and big silly hats
I want to have friends
that I can have picnics with;
friends who have bonfires
late into the night
and let their music float into the serene silence
I want to be accepted
sometimes
(most times)
I want to be pale
I want to be thin
ribs poking through shirts
hipbones stabbing whoever comes near me
spine much too prominent to be healthy
I want to bruise easily,
and constantly have stains
the colour of the polluted night
(a washed out purple,
faded from perfection
by humans
and their lights)
hiding under my eyes,
clinging there with treacherous claws
I want my hair to be falling out,
I want my clothes all to be too big
their lumps and wrinkles
hiding me,
consuming me
and I want to be alone
forever
I want to faint from dehydration
and lack of food
collapse
in the middle of school
at home
around town
instead of lighting scented candles,
I want to light my skin
or maybe a cigarette
(but I’m too much of a coward)
I want to lose myself
and never find my way back,
disappeared
into the dark and lonely abyss
that is consciousness
I want to wither away
and die